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Sep 5, 2014

Something I haven't done in a while.

I don't even remember the last time I blogged. I suppose I could go back and look, but who has time for that? Blogging used to be something that I look forward to everyday. And now, I look forward to it in several months. I miss it. But, I feel as if I have nothing to talk about any more. I'm not out there trying to lose weight. People want to see progress, the only progress I have to give is about the baby in the belly. Which to me, is FANTASTIC.
I have lost about 20 plus (?) followers on instagram since becoming pregnant. I get it, people want someone they can relate to. Well, I would like to brand those people "fair weather followers". Hey, if you don't want to see how amazing my child is going to be, get to stepping. :) 

Which brings us to some updates. 
I think last time I had let everyone know that I had a cyst, and the doctor was monitoring me at every appointment to make sure it didn't grow. 
At my last appointment, the cyst went from a whopping 10 cm to a slightly smaller 8 cm. We of course are all very pleased with this. Hopefully next time, it will be even less.
At this particular appointment, the 3 lovely great grandmothers came. We had planned out to have a gender reveal, and those 3 were the ones that were going to find out. Don't even get me started on those 3. Those three are the most amazing women on this planet. (Besides the moms). They do anything and everything for us, and have gone above and BEYOND anything we could ever imagine these past couple of months. I am FOREVER grateful for them. Baby Holland has no clue how loved he is going to be. 
ANYWHO, back to the appointment. The doc pulled the sono screen away from Dayton and I, she searched for a little bit, and then said. "I won't be able to tell what the baby is today. It's knees are up, legs crossed, and it's sitting on it's feet". I was absolutely divested. For a number of reasons. 
1. We had already sent invitations. (Luckily it was also "reception" for us as well)
2. I didn't get to see my baby but for maybe 10 seconds? Heard the heartbeat for 5. I had waited five weeks for this appointment. I was ready to marvel at the beautiful creation that was growing in my belly. 
3. I felt like the doc didn't try. Like it wasn't important to her. Maybe she was in a hurry, I work with docs, I know how they can be. 
4. I discovered my child is a turd. 
5. My next appointment would be in FIVE more weeks. The doc had something to do the week I was set to come back, so we had to push it to the next week. That probable killed me the most. 

So we leave, I cry and cry all damn day. 
The next day while, I called and asked Dayton if we could please get another sonogram somewhere else. Because, lets face it, I am a brat. (Only Child Syndrome) 
He finally says yes. 
I arrive first, and get ready. 
The lady places the machine on my belly and BAM. She knows what the turd is. She waits to tell me until Dayton arrives. 

It was the hardest less than a week of my life. We kept the surprise to ourselves. No one knew we even had a sono. It was almost crippling not to be able to tell anyone. My best friend was like lets just go do another sono, I had to be like no no... YUP, didn't even tell my BEST friend. My granny texts me right after the sono, "Are you okay Darling?" The Darling got me. I wanted to pick up the phone immediately and be like OMG ITS A......
But, I refrained. I am super proud of myself. 
We did the reception as planned. 
At the very end, we opened presents. As I was opening the last present, I asked for everyones attention. Gave my big ol' lovely speech. And popped open the box. 
Out came...


WE ARE HAVING A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!
And couldn't be any happier about it!
It's a good thing too, cuz I had already bought boy stuff, long before we knew.


 This was how ecstatic my Granny was. I LOVE this.
This baby boy is going to be the most loved baby boy in the whole world.





Nothing in this world makes me happier than knowing I have this little guy to look forward too. He moves constantly, I feel his little kicks throughout the day, and it makes me complete.
I can't imagine the feeling that I will get when he is born. But, I know that nothing can ever touch it. He is our first, our boy, and the greatest thing to ever happen to us.




I am surprised that I am actually getting a "bump".
I am 18 weeks. Starts a new week every Tuesday. ALMOST half way there!
I have fluctuated with weight. On my worst day, I have gained 5 lbs. But, mostly it has just been 2. I am extremely happy with that.
With all the emotions I have, it is hard not to be down on myself. I know I am growing a human in my belly, I will gain weight. Its inevitable. Most of it is in my head. I feel huge.
But, I know its for a good cause.


And on that note, I must bid you adieu.

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