Feb 13, 2014

Today is a very special occasion, okay, maybe not that special... its my first day back in the gym in about 5 months. Where has the time gone??? It has definitely been filled with many many nights of fast food and tons of reeses. I hoping to break that habit. Reeses, Chipotle, Raising Canes, and Chik-Fil-A, will quite literally be the death of me. But honestly, how can you resist?? Like all other "special" occasions, I went out and bought myself a couple few new outfits. Now I just need new socks.. I always lose socks. I am probably the WORST person with socks. Oh yeah, here's a little preview..
I know, you can hardly contain yourself from all of the hotness, but please try :). I don't really know why i quit going to the gym. I actually really enjoyed it, believe it or not. I love the feeling I get after, the energy level it gives me, just everything about it really. I feel as if there are two different sides to me. The skinny me ( who clearly is non-existent most of the time), and the fat me. The skinny me always knows what I should really do, but the fat me talks me out of it. I am always at odds with myself. Its never easy, but of course life would be boring if things were easy. I am at a point in my life where I am completely happy with my surroundings. I have the most amazing man, "children", family and friends. Now, I need to complete me. People fight demons every day. I KNOW what I NEED to do in order to change my life. You don't know until you've been there. I am not asking anyone to understand my journey, because the only one that needs to understand, is me. God created this life for ME to live. I may not fully understand it just yet, but some day I will. I wouldn't change anything that has led me to where I am today. You know, all that cliche stuff, Everything happens for a reason, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.. I truly believe all it. You never know how high you'll get, until you've hit rock bottom. My rock bottom was 317 lbs. I don't want that to be my rock bottom again. So, lets make today my rock bottom, even if its not, we can pretend. I have ordered my Advocare 24 Day Challenge (Again), I really liked the way it made me feel. It should arrive on the 19th. So on the 20th, I will be starting that. I have my an amazing support system that will help me with that. I did pretty good the first time. I didn't finish the whole thing, but, I didn't cheat, until I quit.... If that makes sense... I am fully prepared to make a "Life style change".

I should probably let y'all know that I am an only child, therefore, I have "only child syndrome". I am not ashamed. And I wouldn't call it spoiled, I would call it well loved. With that being said, when I want something, I want it now. Which is probably why a lot of my weight loss attempts have failed me. I am going to try and work on that. It is very hard to change something that has been the exact same way for 22 yrs. Don't get me wrong, I am by no means selfish. I am just very impulsive when it comes to things and highly impatient. Its a curse, I know.

Barb and Kendal are my work BFF, probably wouldn't make it without them. To know them is to love them. Two of the greatest people I have EVER met. Now, we eat lunch together a lot. So they know what I kinds of food I eat. I make a trip to the break room and this what they say to me... "Theres a lot of left over salad from yesterday! Its so good! Get you some!"....Does it look like I eat salad? God love em..

My thoughts exactly. On that note, I must bid you adieu.