Feb 18, 2014

Puffballs and such.

     I started my Advocare 24 Day Challenege yesterday, and it went really well. I'm sure you don't want a play by play of what I ate, so I won't bore you. I didn't drink as much water as I should have, just because the water machine at my work is merky.. and it grosses me out. But don't worry, I will do better today. Campfire girls honor. (I can say that because I was in fact, a campfire girl). I drank my spark this morning, I feel great. I actually booty danced in my car to Beyonce, again. Does anyone else do that? I feel like I should have abs of steal by how much I booty dance in my car. So, all in all yesterday turned out to be a really good day. It didn't even bother me when Dayton pulled out the candy Reese's eggs. I didn't want one. Which is weird, because those are made in heaven. I plan to post "before" pictures, I was going to take pictures last night, but we had things to do, so it didn't happen. Besides, tonight they will be more legit, I will have worked out and such. I'll have my workout tights on, you know, the ones where you can see EVERY fat bulge. I am in no way proud of how I look right now. However, I am proud of how far I have come. I started this blog to help me, to track my progress, to share. I plan to be 100% real. Every one wants to read a success story. I would like for this to be one. My attempts in the past have not been. The biggest pill for me to swallow is the failure with my surgery. Which is no ones fault but my own. I hate it, I hate even more that I can't change it. But you learn from your failures. And I have had tons. As a 22 yr old, I should look as good on the outside, as I feel on the inside. Time and myself are my worst enemies. (and reeses, and pasta, and fried things....) I think I give up so easily because I am afraid of the end. Even if the end is a great result. Its not like I don't want this fat to end, because BELIEVE me, I do. Just something in my head. I am so good at analyzing other situations, other people, but not myself. Which is usually how it goes. I guess you never really stop getting to know yourself. When I get down, I go back and look at old pictures of myself. I look like a HUGE puff ball.

The picture on the left just blows my mind. I think that was taken about 3 yrs ago. I didn't even see myself as that big. I looked in the mirror and saw the person I see today. I read something once that said, if you walked past yourself on the street, you wouldn't reconginze you. Thats just crazy to me, that our perceptions of ourselves are that distorted. The picture on the right was taken a few weeks after my surgery, a little change, but not much. Today, I don't see that person. Thank the Lord.

The person on the right is who I see today. I have my moments. More often then not. But today is a good day. Most of my blogs will be about this. Because this is one of the most important issues to me.

On that note, I must bid you adeiu.

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