Feb 21, 2014

Love me or Hate me.

         I am the type of person that you either love, or you hate. I am pretty easy to get along with, as long as you have a personality. I am VERY sarcastic, VERY blunt,a smart ass and I have chronic bitch face. You can't really tell if I am ever joking or not. I don't really ever mean to come off rude, sometimes it just happens. My best friend informed me that before I meet anyone new in her life, she warns them that I come off as a bitch, but I am really not.... I'm not really ashamed. I can't force my face to change. Though I should probably try and work on my facial expressions, because when people say stupid things, I look at them like they just said.. something stupid. But then again, is that really my fault? Don't say something stupid. Of course I usually know who I can and can't be sarcastic with. One thing I can't stand though, is the people who can dish it out, but can't take it. I like to think of myself as a funny person. I mean, I crack up at the things that I say. But, who doesn't do that. There are a lot of people I don't like. Right now, I can't tell you anyone I hate. Hating someone weighs very heavily on my heart. And ain't no body got time for that. Because believe me, hating someone has more effect on you than on that person.

This cracked me up.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am a very nice person as well. I have many good qualities, just like the ones stated above because there is absolutely nothing wrong with sarcasm, or being blunt. I am a very caring person. I put others before me, always. I am very motherly, I tend to mother my own mother. I also don't believe in being fake. I don't kiss ass. I can't do it, something inside of me just refuses. But what can you do?

Today is day 5 of my challenge. I am still feeling great. I am sleepy today, but that is just because it is Friday and I am ready to go home! I still have plenty of energy when I wake up in the mornings. Its not as hard as it was last week. I am hoping that after the challenge I stick with eating the way that I have been. I haven't been craving anything bad. I did have ONE Reese Pieces egg last night and it was glorious. I don't believe in cheating yourself entirely. I think that sets you up for a HUGE failure. But, I am also the type of person who can't have a cheat meal. Because, if i have a cheat meal, something in my head will trigger an excuse "well you've ruined the whole day, now you have to start over Monday." and it'll be on a damn Tuesday. Everyone knows that you can't start a proper diet unless its on a Monday, right? But then again, you might as well do it, because the time will pass anyways. So you can either make progress, or you can dig your hole deeper. Which is obviously what I have done for a while now. Everyone is different. Everyone needs a different push. I can tell YOU exactly how to lose weight, exactly how to exercise. But can I tell myself that? No. There are so many people out there who are like just do it, just do it. Its not that simple. Its not something that you can change over night. Its not a switch. I promise you, do you think people like being fat? NO. If I could wake up in the morning and have the mind set that I will never pick up another fattening thing again, or say that I will work out every day of my life until I lose the weight that I need to, I would. When someone lives a certain way for 22 years, and then is trying to change their life, I guarantee you its not going to happen over night. Support. Support is what people need. I am of course guilty of criticising as well. And I shouldn't, you don't know until you have been there. Until you have felt that person's pain, experienced that person's thoughts. Its easier said than done. I have said many many times before that I would much rather be addicted to a drug than to food. You NEED food. You need food to survive. Its not like I can just quit food. I am an extremely picky eater. I have gotten a little better. I wish that I liked more things, but my taste buds refuse. I am hoping that I can improve myself. I have accepted that it will take time. I don't like it, but either I use the time to improve or worsen.

On that note, I must bid you adieu.


1 comment:

  1. Chronic bitch face?
    No way I would never ever think that....