Feb 23, 2014

How I get by.

If you know me well, you know what I have been through. I have MONTHS where I am completely fine. And then I have that one day where I just absolutely break down. I would like to take a second and commend my brain, I tend to push out bad memories. I still remember them, but that is the LAST thing I remember. I believe in forgiveness. I believe that forgiving gives you a sense of relief. There is no need to carry around extra stresses. I can't say that I would change anything about my past. I am the person I am because of my past. Your past doesn't define you, but it does help build you. I don't know who I would be today if anything were any different. I know I would still have my family. But then theres that chance that I wouldn't have had the family I have acquired along the way. I would never be willing to give up the umpteen people that love and care about me, for the one person that was supposed to protect me, but in turn, turned out to be the one that hurt me. I look at my family, I look at my friends, and I couldn't phathom hurting them. Heck, I look at my damn dogs after I spank them and feel terrible. You just don't hurt the people you love. PERIOD. Yesterday my SIL and I were talking, (it was one of my bad days) she said she doesn't know how I function normally. Sometimes I really don't know either. The best answer for that, would be my family. There are some days that they can't help, but of course..

Let me introduce you to the people that carry me through the brightest days, and darkest nights. 

(FYI, Dayton is not listed because he is special and has his own tab, but he very much so brightens my day. Especially when he steps in dog poop with his bare feet, which he just did.)

My mama. Most beautiful soul I have ever met. I love her more than words can say. When I am weak, she is strong and vice versa. She raised me with the unconditional love that a mother should give their child. She let me make my own mistakes. I believe that has helped me SO much. I have a lot more than most 22 year olds, and I owe that all to her. 

The immediate family.

The whole Shabang.

The ones who have accepted me as their own. 

My absolute perfect nieces. 

My soulmate.

My Best Friend and Baby O

And the ones that have been there through it all. (with princess Morgan)

God, for some amazing reason, has blessed me with these wonderful people. And I thank him for it every day. I have learned something from everyone of these people. How to love, how to laugh, how to cry, how to have fun. I've gained patience through my nieces, and learned that something so small can take up the biggest space in your heart. Without these people, I truly believe I would be nothing. I would have nothing. Family is the most important thing to me. And these people are the absolute definition of it. 

On that note, I must bid you adieu. 

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